You know the deal ‘round these parts: no phones, no running, no napping, et al.
But for a few gloriously chaotic hours Wednesday afternoon of Masters Week, those commandments go out the window. Behold, the Par 3 Contest, where putter-toting, jumpsuit-wearing toddlers seize Augusta National like a pack of adorable warlords.
Here, on the Wednesday afternoon of this year’s tournament, was Steven Kisner, Kevin’s young son, wielding a blue Fisher-Price golf club! There was Jordan Schwartzel, pants rolled up and tippy-toeing barefoot across a green! And here were DJ and Paulina’s boys fighting, as brothers do, over who got to bang a putt! Snow-angels on the sod? Sure, there was some of that going on, too. Backward-turned hats? Yup, they were seemingly everywhere. Was this an invite-only affair on Augusta National’s new-look short course…or Caddie Day at Bushwood?
But no participants were more reliably unruly than the kiddos, disorderly as they were delightful.
Enter Sammy Spieth, the 17-month-old toddler-king of this lush, lawless dystopia. When Annie Spieth placed down her son on the fringe by the 6th green, intending for him to take a few sips from a plastic water bottle, Sammy had a better idea. He squeezed the container, squirting water all over the already well-watered turf. That was so much fun Sammy did it again!
A few moments later, he was on the loose, beelining for a bunker behind the green. Seeing where her little was headed, Annie swooped in for what is sure to be one of the week’s best sand saves. As Dad and his playing partners — Justin Thomas and Max Homa — holed out, Annie picked up Sammy and put him in the middle of the green. Surely he couldn’t find any mischief there. When he spotted his father, though, Sammy rose to his feet and started waddling toward him. One pace, two paces, three paces — and timberrrrr! Sammy tumbled to the turf like a felled oak, drawing a collective awww from the assembled patrons.
